Sacrifice

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own." ~1 Corinthians 6:19

 I think the theory of "putting ourselves out there" for people in an attempt to build a relationship has gone too far. Not only emotionally, but physically. Why do we wear our hearts on our sleeves? Why do we give away every part of ourselves, like we're desperate for the world to know our most personal secrets? I think part of it comes to trust. People like me assume the best in people, give them the benefit of the doubt. But I'm slowly learning that it's not the best method of getting to know people.

This all may sound cliche and dramatic, and I don't mean it that way at all. I don't mean to sound like the feminist arguing that men are evil and can't get anything done and that the female race has become victim to the oppression of sex-crazed male individuals. I mean it as a girl who has experienced a lot, whose actions, thoughts and feelings were based not in knowledge but rather pure and complete ignorance, and who is taking time to evaluate that experience. I wish I had been subject to intervention a long time ago, because the things I'm realizing now, about myself in relation to the rest of the world, and most importantly, in my walk with God, have changed my entire perspective for the better.

There's the argument that you might be afraid of love, and that you'll get hurt, but maybe you won't get hurt, maybe it'll work. But if I go forward with that theory, I still end up with a lot of regret, having hurt a lot of people, and being hurt myself. Then if you do "find love" after having gone through every single other option you can get your hands on (figuratively or literally) then do you still end up happy?

God gave us perfect love so that we could rely on Him. Perfect love doesn't exist on Earth, and that's why I'm figuring out, that you can't rely on people. True friends, yes, but as far as romantic relationships, everybody lies, even me. Everyone is confused about their emotions, and no one knows how to express them, and you just end up lying to that significant other, with your words and your actions, and lying to yourself. I firmly believe God has one person meant for everyone, and that each person should come to their husband or wife, chosen for them by God, completely pure. This society has lost sight of that. I see girls wearing their dream wedding dress, that is white, even if they lost their virginity long before their wedding. I don't mean to condemn them, at all, because my God is a God of love, but it does make me wonder, how it all comes back to lying.

If nothing I've said has made any sense, I will attempt to summarize my motive for this post:

Sometimes we sacrifice all we want for eternity, and what God wants for us, for the temporary. We throw away our own dreams and aspirations in the hope that a certain man will think us worthy of his time and effort, and will do anything to hold onto him. And when we lose him, we blame ourselves for everything, and dwell on the possibilities of what we did wrong.
Who said it was about him? Him, this temporary emotionally-confused individual who has his own dreams and aspirations that probably have nothing to do with you. Who said it was your fault? In fact, is there really anyone to blame when relationships fall apart, or is it purely God saying in so many events, that this person is not who He has meant for you? I believe the latter.
So what it all comes down to is this: If God does have one person for you (and even if your not religious, but believe you are meant to end up with one and only one person) then why sacrifice your time, why sacrifice your well-being, why sacrifice your joy, for anyone less than your future husband? I've convinced myself for so long that the experiences, the past relationships were necessary because they made me realize what was good and what was bad, and lead me to where I was today. But when I really think about it, I would rather have done without them. Why do I have to keep putting myself through this repetitive cycle of getting attached and getting hurt and missing someone, who isn't even giving a second thought about me? There's no reason. I don't want to be anyone's anything. Except God's daughter. Because my body is not my own. I'm going to glorify God with it, not throw it away.